Phone Calls Replace Chicken Soup

So three of my children are in college. Two are in high school One is in middle school. They are all different.  It is not because there is a difference in biology that they are different. They are individuals with their own way to get through life.  Different things motivate them to be successful. They have varying interests and their needs are different.  There is no doubt that they handle stress in their own way. One of my children shares, one of them closes himself off, one gets too lost in social activities, one of them shares and then hides and one shares in a very indirect way.

Whether you are  a part of a blended family, we all handle our stress in different ways.  We need to be careful not to assume that they each need to be treated like a biological parent or all the same or the way you need to be treated.That formula would make things easy but not too many things are easy in family life.

It is not a surprise that our children do not know what they need or why they do what they do when there is an upheaval. Make sure you take the time to see things clearly.  The earlier you can teach your children why they do what they do when things are not running smoothly, the better they will recognize the cause of certain behaviors. The better they understand themselves, they can communicate these things to others in their life today and in the future. Can you imagine how this will help with a future partner in their life?

Today, one of my college children called today and could not understand why he has been calling so often the last couple of days.  He has the flu.  This child is the one that shares everything. He needs to be cared for when sick. He is not the one who hides under the covers and stays there until better because he wants to be alone.  I knew right away why this one child has been calling so often.  He needed attention and I could not give him care in person. I knew why he was calling so often because I know him and I am certain what he needs even if he does not.

Otherwise,  I never would have been able to tell him that he just needed to share and have long distance chicken soup.

Feel better, my love.

Stay healthy everyone,

Ivy L.